white elephant – Page 3

Our Cars, and Our Guns

December, 2017

They are coming after your guns, but did you know they got your car first?

Lyndon B. Johnson, the 36th President of the US (1963-69), was responsible. He felt that there was a need to fix something, as all Presidents do. Not only did he bring us the “War on Poverty” (which we are loosing/have lost) but he brought us the “War on Highway Disease.”

Betcha ya haven’t heard of that one, have you? But, you probably are very aware of the effects of this major government boondoggle.

I doubt that ‘ol Lyndon was even aware that highway fatalities were a significant issue and I believe that a staffer told him something like, “Hey Pres, here is something that you can use as a legacy and endear yourself in the liberal heart for evermore.” Or something to that effect.

He/they felt that there were entirely too many deaths occurring on our nations highways and started a campaign to correct the problem. Things like raising the drinking age to 21y instead of 18y, seat belts, padded dashboards instead of metal, collapsible steering columns, break-away/collapsible plastic bumpers, head rests and a host of other expensive improvements. And, crash dummies to test these innovations.

Believe it or not, LBJ started the FARS (sounding very close to farce, but its real). Fatal Accident Reporting System.

The concept was that cars cause injury and death, not accidents. Heard anything like that before? Its kind of like, “Cars don’t kill people, people kill people” was a phrase that just didn’t make sense to them. The problem was not that cars were being used inappropriately, such as under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or that poor judgment/skill was a factor in the accidents and injuries. The problem was that cars were unsafe. Cars were the inherent problem.

Slowly, very slowly, the effects of this campaign became more noticeable to the masses. For instance, the crash-test dummies became public figures. Caricatures of these inanimate objects were used more and more in advertising campaigns in wildly satirical manners. They became the joke. People began to realize that there was a price to pay for all these “improvements” in the safeness of their cars. The masses came to realize that while nice to have, some of these improvements were not worth the increase cost of the vehicle. These “improvements” became the joke.

Not to change the topic, but a pickle suit or an anti-suicide smock, Ferguson, turtle suit, Bam Bam suit, or suicide gown is a tear-resistant single-piece outer garment that is generally used to prevent a hospitalized, incarcerated, or otherwise detained individual from forming a noose with the garment to commit suicide. Read straight jacket.

Back to the “War on Highway Disease”, we will soon have the NERF car, the highway version of a pickle suit. NERF being the trade name owned by Hasbro of the foam impact toys that can be used by children (or children-like adults) unsupervised without risk of harm. Then our cars won’t be dangerous and traffic fatalities will plummet.

So, when you hear, “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people,” you’ll understand why I get a little nervous.

From your crash-dummy, grumpy Uncle/Brother Dave.

The Boston Tea/Alcohol Party

November, 2017

Some will say that I might be just a little prejudiced on this issue, but I think the government is a little on the wrong side here. I’m not saying that I’m an anti-oil company, big government liberal or anything. You be the judge.

I noticed a sign at a gas station on the way to work tonight. Unleaded gasoline was $2.29 per gallon and E-85 was $1.99 per gallon. Of course, we’ve all been through the analysis that the only reason for ethanol to be cheaper than gasoline is government subsidies.

But that’s not the issue.

The quantitative analysis.

E-85 is 85% ethanol and 15% gasoline. The ethanol is distilled from grain products grown right here in the good ‘ol US of A. So, people who purchase the ethanol pay 30 cents for the gasoline in the mixture and $1.69 for the ethanol. So, if the gallon was pure ethanol, they would be paying $2.34 for a gallon.

Do you see where I’m going with this, yet? No?

Well, let’s look at the cheapest liquor in the US. For Example, McCormick Vodka. At about $36 per gallon, it is 80 proof, or 40% ethanol. It is made from distilled grains grown right here in the good ‘ol US of A, mind you. So, still speaking of the cheap stuff, one pays $90 for one gallon of pure ethanol. I’ll leave it up to the reader to work out the price of higher quality Oban scotch, for instance.

The qualitative analysis.

Our government is subsidizing an industry that takes domestically produced grain and makes fuel so that a small minority of consumers can feel good while a sister industry uses the same grains in the same process to make the same product that a majority of consumers use to feel good.

But for a hugely different price.

This, in my humble opinion, deserves the same actions as the Boston Tea Party.

From your grumpy Uncle/Brother Dave. For those interested, it’s all algebra.

I Don’t do Yoga

September, 2017

When the grandson started school this year, his teacher told the class on the first day that they would start the day with yoga exercises. The grandson told the teacher on the first day that he did not do yoga. So, he was told to walk laps around the desk/table while the others did their yoga.

There are now 3 other kids walking. Not doing yoga.

I say, “Way to go!”

Your grumpy Uncle/Brother Dave, not so fondly remembering those elementary school teachers.

Weary

The Needy Daughter

I was listening to a report about the Hillary e-mail fiasco the other day. They said that Hillary had provided 30,000 e-mails to the FBI resulting from their subpoena but she reported that 33,000 had been lost or deleted.

Hillary was Secretary of State from 2009 to 2013. She explained that the lost or deleted e-mails were just personal e-mails about Chelsea’s [then] pending wedding. Chelsea was married on 7/31/2010.

So here we go.

Let’s say that Chelsea and Hillary were e-mailing heavily for the year before the wedding and about 6 months after. That is about 25 months or 43 e-mails a day. Almost 2 per hour, 24 hours a day for over 2 years.

Every day.

Not considering that there must have been a few days in there that either Chelsea or Hillary might have been preoccupied with other things. Being Secretary of State and all.

But this is a very conservative estimate because the Clinton’s were heavy Blackberry users and most of their back-n-forths would have been by voice, voice messages, texts, etc. And some, probably quite a few, days they would have been in each other’s company. If one could conceive that Hillary and Chelsea might e-mail each other while in the same room, maybe that’s a mute point.

Social recluse that I am I just can’t be held as an example, but I get maybe 43 e-mails a year. And have trouble keeping up with that many.

What the multi-tasker Hillary must be.

Running a household of one (Chelsea is off with hubby-to-be and Bill’s off being Bill), e-mailing her daughter (and I presume others) about her upcoming wedding, and running the foreign affairs of one of the largest, most complex countries in the world. And running her own home server to boot.

Your skeptical grumpy Uncle/Brother Dave.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hillary_Clinton_email_controversy

https://www.state.gov/secretary/115194.htm

The Government is Out to Get Me

The Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, is out to get me. Well, maybe not me specifically, but anybody and everybody that is complying with the law in regards to drug prescribing and distribution. What I just said is not paranoid hyperbole.

Sessions has designated 12 federal prosecutors to go to cities that have a high impact from the “opiod epidemic”. These prosecutors are to seek and destroy anyone deemed to be prescribing opiod narcotics, and profiting from the process. Their targets include doctors and other health care practitioners, pharmacists, hospitals, clinics and just about anybody or anything that is legally involved in the drug trade.

In his own words in a speech to the Columbus Police Academy in Ohio, he stated, “If you are a doctor illegally prescribing opioid drugs for profit or a pharmacist letting these pills walk out the door… we are coming after you,” Sessions declared. The Opioid Fraud and Abuse Detection Unit, as Sessions referred to the 12 attorneys, will … work in conjunction with the FBI, Drug Enforcement Administration and Health and Human Services to identify and arrest the violators.(2)

Now, why is that? There have been drug crises ongoing in this country and most of the developed world in one form or another, forever. Why would the government decide that the opioid epidemic is worthy of it’s attention, as opposed to, say, methamphetamine, peyote, heroine or marijuana?

Because of the Willie Sutton Syndrome. The bank robber that replied that he robbed banks because that was where the money was.

You see, all of the aforementioned entities are regulated, licensed and insured out the wazoo. Which means that they can be further regulated with licenses, permits, fines and the like. To a point that money may actually be collected.

So, do you think the War on Drugs has produced anything of substance, yet? No. In fact, the only thing the War on Drugs has produced has been a dependent culture and extreme expense to the taxpayers for detention and incarceration, rehabilitation (failed and otherwise), dependent support, medical expenses and on and on.

But, are these legal entities actually responsible for the “opioid epidemic”? Even the liberal New York Times doesn’t think so. “… opioid addiction, now made more deadly by an influx of illicitly manufactured fentanyl and similar drugs.” (1) Overwhelmingly, these drugs are obtained illegally. They may be stolen, purchased on the street from nefarious sources or obtained by malingering (presenting false symptoms for the express purpose of obtaining these drugs).

It doesn’t matter, the government has finally realized that they are more likely to collect their fines from someone making a 6 figure income and dependent on said government for the “right ” to practice their vocation than someone that is on welfare.

One drug dealer’s opinion from your grumpy-drug-dealing Uncle/Brother Dave.

1. https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017/06/05/upshot/opioid-epidemic-drug-overdose-deaths-are-rising-faster-than-ever.html

2. http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/jeff-sessions-targeting-doctors-profiting-off-opioid-epidemic-w495603