February 6, 2017
One can immediately see the benefits of using crop byproducts to make beer rings that are edible by both turtles and humans. Consider the boost to the sagging agriculture industry in the Midwest. Newly elected President Trump is looking to bring jobs back to America and specifically from the Pacific Rim. Let’s look at this a little closer.
These edible beer rings, as a novelty, are sure to become a fad. What do Americans need more than a fad food? Right! This will just contribute to the problem of obesity in Americans (despite popular belief the largest consumers of canned beer in the world), and turtles. So now we have to tackle the problem of turtle obesity.
In my ongoing discussion with my nurse friend about saving the sea turtles, we have a new development. I’ve written about this before, how I got slammed because I tossed a 6 pack-canned-diet-drink-plastic-ring into the trash without breaking all of the rings. I was responsible for the death of thousands of sea turtles by just that one act. Well, she sent me this link to show that maybe I would be off the hook if this invention came to fruition.
http://time.com/4341726/saltwater-brewery-edible-six-pack-rings/
If you scroll down it tells you that a microbrewery in Florida is developing an edible retaining ring thingy for canned drinks that is palatable to humans as well as turtles. I just had to respond… .
These edible products are made of the fibrous portion of the most commonly grown grains in the Midwest. Of course, these polysacchsrides are known to cause flatulence and will thereby increase CO2 production doing untold damage to our precious ozone layer. Think sunburned turtles. Don’t worry about humans because the smart ones already use sunscreen and the others never have and never will.
But as to the science of this new product, I want to know how many turtles were sacrificed to find just the right product that is a biodegradable substance that is edible for humans and turtles. If you’ve taken comparative physiology, you know that the differences in the function and physiology of the gastrointestinal tract of Homo sapiens and those of Chelonioideais differ vastly. Or, maybe you didn’t.
Consider yet, if humans wore ready-to-eat clothing, well it would be embarrassing. I mean, chewing on your belt is much easier, faster and maybe even better than a Snickers and Diet Coke. So, now what is going to hold your pants up? Oh well, they are edible, too.
Lastly, we all know that there isn’t a good deed that can’t be improved upon or expanded. Consider Reefer Beer that is made out of marijuana and it is essentially legal everywhere. The munchies are sure to come, the beer rings are edible, cause flatulence and a hunger that is insatiable. And, the clothes are edible also!
Need I ask the question?
Where ‘o where is our culture going?
More food for thought (pun intended) from your grumpy Uncle/Brother Dave.
Weary