Tag: drugs

Hunting Fentanyl

August, 2016

I saw a patient tonight that was about 40 years old. He came in for other reasons, but in the interview, he said he was on a Fentanyl patch for chronic back pain. My patient commented that he went out in the woods this morning to put up his deer stand.

Fentanyl is a synthetic form of morphine. It is a mind altering substance, meaning that it clouds judgement, alters reaction time and just plain messes with the mind. Yeah, just like alcohol.

I can see it now. Come November my patient will come in from a hunting accident;

“I fell out of my deer stand and broke my neck.” or,

“I thought he looked like a deer so I shot him. I didn’t realize that it was my Brother-in-law.”

or some other ridiculous story.

So, these Doctors (this is not an unusual occurrence) are sending him out to work as a welder and hunt while this trans-dermal patch makes sure he has sufficient narcotic in his body to relieve his pain 24/7

I’m often embarrassed by my colleagues.

Your grumpy Uncle/Brother Dave.

Weary

Drug Deal Gone Good

2/4/2018

A guy was on a motorcycle, evading capture by the county sheriff’s deputies for suspected drug offenses.  In his hasty, not-so-reckless and excessively speedy operation of the vehicle, he wrecked the motorcycle which he had stolen and ran on foot to evade capture.  He jumped a fence, lost his footing, slid and rolled down a hill to the edge of the interstate highway.  He jumped up and tried to run across the freeway.

Yup, tried.

A car, traveling at about 70 mph and he collided.  Not a full impact.  The passenger mirror hit his elbow and left torso in a glancing blow.

As the deputy inventoried his possessions, they found brass knuckles, a loaded gun, methamphetamine and wads of cash.

This was a drug deal that didn’t go well for the guy but did go well for everyone else.

But, he does get the opportunity to add to his collection of big house tats.

From your grumpy Uncle/Brother Dave.

Weary

Saving the Tax Payers Dollars

2/3/2018

The use of radio-controlled-ankle-collar home incarceration versus jail has been around for a while and is, to say the least, controversial.  They, the people responsible for these programs, claim a daily cost of $700 for the ankle collar and $3,000 for the jail time.

First, I want to know why it costs $700/day for the ankle-collar when a computer and a GPS satellite are doing all the work?

But, the other issue I have is in regards to my first patient of the day.  This guy was given permission to come to the hospital from his parole officer about 10 am.  He showed up, with a complaint of chest pain (in a healthy 30 y/o) at 11 pm.  He admitted that he went to visit his son during the 13-hour unaccounted for interval.

And, he wasn’t wearing an ankle collar.  His tests showed that he had also been doing something other than visiting his son, like doing meth.

I guess it is good that we are saving money on these scum bags using radio-controlled-ankle-collar home incarceration, even though they circumvent the system. No matter what the system.  I could only guess how many positive drug tests I’ve seen over the years in jailed patients.  So, $700/day versus $3,000/day to use drugs while serving time is saving the taxpayers dollars.

From your grumpy Uncle/Brother, Dave.

Weary

Earn Extra Money as a Research Subject

 

5/10/14

On a radio program this morning, there was a discussion on a “botched” execution.  First off, “botched” is in quotes because the guy died in the end so I think it worked pretty damn well.

But anyway, on the program a young woman was interviewed and she said, “I think it is horrible.  I mean he had to suffer for several minutes.  I am not against capital punishment but they should get it right.  They need to experiment more before deciding what drugs to use.”

Well, the prisoner didn’t suffer for several minutes due to the extreme degree of sedation  he was under.  Any suffering one might imagine was surely less than the suffering he inflicted on others.  But, I guess the woman interviewed is right, we need more research in the area.  I wonder if she wants to volunteer.

Anybody need some extra cash for Christmas this year?

More urgent news from your grumpy Uncle/Brother Dave.

 

Weary

Sorry

7/2017

Well, it was bound to happen. You’ll hear about it anyway so I might as well tell my side now.

I got fired and arrested yesterday.  Security was waiting for me when I got to work.  They searched my truck and found some drugs that I have been pilfering for some time.  Quite a bit of drugs actually.  It was a non-violent offense, so my wife was able to make bail.

So, if you please, don’t talk to the press.  I guess you’ll have to talk to the FBI when they call so I won’t tell you what to say, just remember I’m still family.

They came to the house and confiscated all the guns and some other stuff.  I don’t know if my brother will be able to get them back or not.  I hope so, for you all ’cause I’ll not be able to have any guns any more anyway.

Don’t call, ’cause I’m sure the phone lines are tapped.  E-mail should be OK, though.

Love, your now very grumpy Uncle/Brother Dave.

April 2, 2015 12:01 AM
Subject: Sorry, Part 2

So you thought your Uncle/Brother/Dad might just be involved in a surreptitious drug industry?  Tisk, tisk.

And, If I was that I’d be caught?  Tisk, tisk.

Before skedaddling to parts unknown?  Tisk, tisk.

From your Grumpy Uncle/Brother Dave, just welcoming in the month of April.

Weary.

PS  April 1, 2015 2:36 PM, I sent Sorry.  It seemed to have caught a couple of family members unaware.