Tag: crash dummies

December, 2017

They are coming after your guns, but did you know they got your car first?

Lyndon B. Johnson, the 36th President of the US (1963-69), was responsible.  He felt that there was a need to fix something, as all Presidents do.  Not only did he bring us the “War on Poverty” (which we are loosing/have lost) but he brought us the “War on Highway Disease.”

Betcha ya haven’t heard of that one, have you?  But, you probably are very aware of the effects of this major government boondoggle.

I doubt that ‘ol Lyndon was even aware that highway fatalities were a significant issue and I believe that a staffer told him something like, “Hey Pres, here is something that you can use as a legacy and endear yourself in the liberal heart for evermore.”  Or something to that effect.

He/they felt that there were entirely too many deaths occurring on our nations highways and started a campaign to correct the problem.  Things like raising the drinking age to 21y instead of 18y, seat belts, padded dashboards instead of metal, collapsible steering columns, break-away/collapsible plastic bumpers, head rests and a host of other expensive improvements.  And, crash dummies to test these innovations.

Believe it or not, LBJ started the FARS (sounding very close to farce, but its real).  Fatal Accident Reporting System.

The concept was that cars cause injury and death, not accidents.  Heard anything  like that before?  Its kind of like, “Cars don’t kill people, people kill people” was a phrase that just didn’t make sense to them.  The problem was not that cars were being used inappropriately, such as under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or that poor judgment/skill was a factor in the accidents and injuries.  The problem was that cars were unsafe.  Cars were the inherent problem.

Slowly, very slowly, the effects of this campaign became more noticeable to the masses.  For instance, the crash-test dummies became public figures.  Caricatures of these inanimate objects were used more and more in advertising campaigns in wildly satirical manners.  They became the joke.  People began to realize that there was a price to pay for all these “improvements” in the safeness of their cars.  The masses came to realize that while nice to have, some of these improvements were not worth the increase cost of the vehicle.  These “improvements” became the joke.

Not to change the topic, but a pickle suit or an anti-suicide smock, Ferguson, turtle suit, Bam Bam suit, or suicide gown is a tear-resistant single-piece outer garment that is generally used to prevent a hospitalized, incarcerated, or otherwise detained individual from forming a noose with the garment to commit suicide.  Read straight jacket.

Back to the “War on Highway Disease”, we will soon have the NERF car, the highway version of a pickle suit.  NERF being the trade name owned by Hasbro of the foam impact toys that can be used by children (or children-like adults) unsupervised without risk of harm.  Then our cars won’t be dangerous and traffic fatalities will plummet.

So, when you hear, “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people,” you’ll understand why I get a little nervous.

From your crash-dummy, grumpy Uncle/Brother Dave.