Tag: big brother

A Weary Marine

7/2017

One of my Nephews graduated from Texas A&M, applied and was accepted to the Marine Corps Officer Candidate School (OCS).

So, I put in for some time off at work.  I originally asked for a week but the jerks at work had a hard time filling shifts so I cut it down to 3 days.  Still plenty of time, just no time for sightseeing.  And then, they didn’t use me! Too late, the trip was already scheduled.

We planned to fly from separate parts of the country to DC, get a few hours of sleep and meet for the graduation ceremony.  The trip out was anything but uneventful for me and separately for his Mom and Brothers.

When I entered the boarding area at the airport, I properly obeyed the stupid sign that said I did not have to remove my belt or my shoes and that stupid zip-loc bag with somebody’s idea of the amount of toothpaste and deodorant that is safe to carry on an airplane.  When it was my turn to walk through the metal detector, of course the alarms went off.  It was one of the older metal detectors and not the newer see-through-your-clothes things.  The TSA agent was reaching for his gun but I quickly informed him that I had more titanium in me than the space shuttle and that I wasn’t trying to smuggle contraband onto the plane.  I was then informed that I did have to strip down my shoes and belt, empty my pockets and come with Bubba here for a wand job.  And, that I was stupid and it was my fault for not knowing that in advance!  Eventually, Obama and the Justice Department decided that I was safe to fly to Atlanta.  So, I had a seat in the boarding area and waited.

And waited.  And almost waited too long.  Nowadays, they board in this prescribed order of those needing help or special something or other first, those in the Gold club second, the President’s club third and then the groups 1-99 in ascending order.  I was sitting there waiting for them to call group 3, my group, when I noticed the gate attendant closing the door to the loading ramp.  Apparently, they had called and loaded group 3 (only 3 groups this flight) and had paged me overhead.  In noisy situations with 2 hearing aids and 2 almost deaf ears, I can barely hear anything and had obviously not heard them.  The plane was full and they had filled my absence with a standby passenger.  He was disappointed when they pulled him off and gave the seat back to me, to say the least.

By the time I arrived in Atlanta, late, I had correctly reset my watch to East Coast time.  The terminal monitor said I had about 5 minutes to get from my arrival gate to my departure gate for DC.  I hadn’t checked my bag, so I ran from point A to Point B.  Well terminal A to terminal B.  In Atlanta, that can be several miles.  To run for me is more like a wheezing shuffle at a speed my granddaughter would find slow and carrying my bag didn’t help.  When I got to the departure terminal, they were boarding.  Learning from my departure experience, I just got in line, thankful that I made my connection.  When I scanned my boarding pass, alarms went off, again.  It seems the flight that was boarding was a flight was to West Palm Beach, FL, not DC.  My connecting flight was delayed and wouldn’t even arrive for another hour.  I love waiting around in airports.

My flight was almost 2 hours late arriving in DC.  The car rental place closes at like 7 pm or something and doesn’t open until 8 am, or so.  So, here I am at the car rental building at midnight in DC.  Where I can’t get my car.  Where there are no taxis (why would a car rental place need taxis, anyway?).  Where the airport shuttle had stopped running.  I needed to get to my hotel which I would then leave in 4 hours to drive, or not, to Quantico to attend my nephew’s shindig.  Luckily, another stranded traveler called a taxi (which he had on speed dial because he was a frequent DC traveler and expected this kind of thing) and I was able to get to the hotel.  At about 2:30 am.  Up at 5:00 am to go to Quantico.

My sister-in-law and 2 of her other sons had their fun, too.  At their airport, the agent could not find their reservations and they had to buy another set of tickets at a king’s ransom.  When they got to the hotel, there were no reservations because Expedia had booked the rooms at the Chrystal City Hilton but the itinerary listed the Chrystal City Marriott!  They finally figured this out but it took a couple of hours.

Improvise, adapt and overcome.

But, from here on everything went well.  The Battalion Commander gave a presentation with some statistics on grades, failures, successes and my nephew did very well.  The Battalion had a formal Pass and Review.  The reviewing officer was the Commandant of the Marine Corps, the top Marine. The Marine Corps was making a film of the event for recruiting commercials in the future.

On day 2, my nephew was officially sworn in as a Second Lieutenant of the United States Marine Corps.  Afterward, his younger brothers each placed the gold-colored bars (called butter bars) on my nephew’s tunic (jacket) epaulets. His Mom placed the bars on his blouse (shirt) collars. Then he had me salute him. His first salute.

His Dad said that he “had planned to salute you.”  No, Officers don’t salute Enlisted.  Enlisted salute Officers, even if they are wet behind the ears, just out of OCS nephews.

Officers are expected to wear a watch, so for graduation, I gave him one.  It is a $15 analog watch with military time, date and second hand.  It comes from China but the movement is made in Japan and I suspect it is a Seiko.  I like the watch because I have had one for 20 years and it just won’t die.  I’ve only put 4 batteries in it, so if you’re somewhere that you can’t get batteries for 5 years, you have other things to worry about more than what time it is.  It is slightly smaller than the average men’s wrist watch and won’t catch on clothes and packs.  Unlike a Rolex Oyster, if you drop it under a tank tread, you won’t cry about it.

We had a nice dinner and we said our goodbyes. My nephew thanked me for coming and I told him that I would have been there even if not invited, he just wouldn’t have seen me.

Semper fi , welcome to the Corps.

A very nice weekend for your grumpy Uncle/Brother Dave,  Sergeant USMC, ret.

If interested, go to http://www.grunt.com/
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Weary

Armed and Dangerous in Alabama

7/2017

The Principal of an Alabama Middle School wants to stock all of the rooms with “canned goods” so that if an intruder enters the school, the students can (no pun intended) throw these items at the intruder to scare him off, confuse him or even disable him until police arrive! (1)

So, I have some questions:

Which has more penetrating power, Dinty Moore Beef Stew or Campbells Sausage gumbo?

Are a license and training required?

Be careful of your aim because in some states throwing canned food (OK, beer) can be a Class 2 Felony if perceived as being thrown at law enforcement officers.

Let’s see, 13-14 year old children in Africa are using AK-47s and machetes. In the great state of Alabama, whose motto is “We Dare Defend Our Rights”, they are using Asparagus and peas.

This statement from the article, “the idea to arm students with canned food”, implies that in Alabama one is “armed” while walking home from the local grocery store.  BATF has it’s work cut out for it in Alabama.

How long is it going to take for a You-Tube contributor to come up with a canned food launcher, gasp, in fully automatic mode no less?  Let’s see, all you need is a school bus with PVC connected to the exhaust pipe and a large potato …

Keeping abreast of the latest news, your armed Grumpy Uncle/Brother Dave sitting at his desk with a can of Hominy at hand.

Weary

  1.  http://www.cbsnews.com/news/principal-let-students-hurl-canned-food-to-fight-off-intruders/?ftag=ACQb72972c

Alien Abduction

7/2017

Angie and I went on a mission in Kansas City recently and I swear that we were abducted by aliens.  No, I don’t mean I had to use my rudimentary language skills from Garden City.  Let me explain.

Our 1st appointment was finished and we needed to find a fuel stop for the truck and a drink stop for ourselves, basically killing time until the second appointment. So, it being in an urban suburb of Kansas City, Kansas with a population of just under 150,000, I took off down a pleasant 4 lane boulevard called Nall Avenue.  It was convenient as both our appointment locations were on this street.

Nall Avenue is no hookey, back-woods, gravel road such as what one might find all over Doniphan county.  I noted that it had its own exit from the interstate as we crossed over, heading south.  We passed 2 nationally famous medical centers; 3 community hospital complexes (striving to be recognized as regional medical centers); at least 6 shopping centers (very new, chic and cosmopolitan); an untold number of housing subdivisions with names like Hunter’s Glenn, Green Acres (where the grass was really brown but the houses were 5000+ sf and half a million or more), Highland Mist (No hills, bogs or peat here); a park named B’nai Judah for the little Jewish kids to romp and play on the safety of mulch-floored swings, Jungle gyms and merry-go-rounds; another park (across the street from B’nai Judah) named Lin Chi for the Chinese kids to romp and play on the safety of mulch-floored swings, Jungle gyms and merry-go-rounds; several country clubs with swimming pools and golf courses; churches; several schools… .

But what I didn’t find in the 12.3 miles was a Casey’s, Total or QT.  There was no Love’s, Pilot or even a Phillips 66 C-store. No there wasn’t a Buckey’s.  There were 12.3 miles of urban America without diet Coke, iced tea, bottled water, diesel or gasoline.  There wasn’t even any e-15 or e-85 gasoline-ethanol blend.

I didn’t think there were 12.3 miles of urban America anywhere without a convenience store, aside from places like Texas State Highway 481 from Uvalde to Eagle Pass and Piedras Negras, but those aren’t urban and don’t count.

So the only explanation I can come up with is that Aliens abducted us in a manner that we didn’t know what was happening and we traveled 12.3 miles through Alien territory instead. I mean, everybody knows Aliens don’t use diesel or gasoline in their vehicles, right?

Just another adventure from your grumpy uncle/brother Dave.

Weary

The Silicon Conspiracy

6/2017

The American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009 has essentially forced the adoption of electronic medical records (EMRs) on the healthcare industry, with the section known as the Health Information Technology for Economic and Clinical Health Act (HITECH Act).  Don’t know about you but I just love cute little acronyms.

This was done by Congress.  The same august body of our government that gave us the Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007, which has forced the use of those expensive CFLs, halogen and LED light bulbs and the elimination of incandescent light bulbs.

I have commented on these EMRs before and could probably write a book on the subject, but hang in here, today I’ll try to keep it shorter than that.

Just like in the case of light bulbs, where Congress caused the wanton use and distribution of many toxic substances in an attempt to protect and make the world safer/brighter/lighter/more economical, it has now caused us to have to use computers and electrons to see our health history with the bizarre benefit of saving trees in the process.

But wait just a minute!  Trees can be planted, tended, harvested and planted again and therefore are a renewable resource.  Drive through Arkansas, Oregon, Maine or any timber state and look at all the tree farms.  In fact, paper can be made from a variety of cellulose producing plants, not just trees.  And paper can be made from paper.  It is recyclable!

Silicon, on the other hand, is the 14th element on the periodic table.  While silicon may be the 8th most common of the elements on earth, it is relatively rare in its elemental form and there is a finite amount of silicon in the universe.  It is commonly found in sand and dust. Silicon is used to do more than enhance breasts, butts and lips (although some of us hardly see the point), caulk leaky sinks and keep us from burning our hands on hot pots; it is an essential component in the production of computer chips.

So in fact, Congress has forced the use of an element that is not renewable to avoid the use of a resource that is renewable.

Now do you understand why we have so many military installations in the desert areas of the Western states?

Now do you understand why we are so interested in sending our young men and women to the Middle East (as if it were for oil interests, poppy-cock!)?

In the near future, you will see the news media focusing not on OPEC (Oil Producing & Exporting Countries) but SHEC. You figure the acronym.

Your grumpy Uncle Dave trying to squash conspiracy theories left and right.

Weary