Tag: alcohol

The Boston Tea/Alcohol Party

November, 2017

Some will say that I might be just a little prejudiced on this issue, but I think the government is a little on the wrong side here.  I’m not saying that I’m an anti-oil company, big government liberal or anything.  You be the judge.

I noticed a sign at a gas station on the way to work tonight.  Unleaded gasoline was $2.29 per gallon and E-85 was $1.99 per gallon.  Of course, we’ve all been through the analysis that the only reason for ethanol to be cheaper than gasoline is government subsidies.

But that’s not the issue.

The quantitative analysis.

E-85 is 85% ethanol and 15% gasoline.  The ethanol is distilled from grain products grown right here in the good ‘ol US of A.  So, people who purchase the ethanol pay 30 cents for the gasoline in the mixture and $1.69 for the ethanol.  So, if the gallon was pure ethanol, they would be paying $2.34 for a gallon.

Do you see where I’m going with this, yet?  No?

Well, let’s look at the cheapest liquor in the US.  For Example, McCormick Vodka.  At about $36 per gallon, it is 80 proof, or 40% ethanol. It is made from distilled grains grown right here in the good ‘ol US of A, mind you.  So, still speaking of the cheap stuff, one pays  $90 for one gallon of pure ethanol. I’ll leave it up to the reader to work out the price of higher quality Oban scotch, for instance.

The qualitative analysis.

Our government is subsidizing an industry that takes domestically produced grain and makes fuel so that a small minority of consumers can feel good while a sister industry uses the same grains in the same process to make the same product that a majority of consumers use to feel good.

But for a hugely different price.

This, in my humble opinion, deserves the same actions as the Boston Tea Party.

From your grumpy Uncle/Brother Dave. For those interested, it’s all algebra.

St Joe’s Most Eligible Bachelor

7/2017

Contestant Number 1

Late one night, a well-dressed man was seen lying under a tree in a St. Joe neighborhood.  A raccoon was seen behind him and the observer became concerned and called the police.  When the paramedics arrived they found that the man had become incontinent of stool and the raccoon was dining on the product.  He was taken to the emergency department to be evaluated.  Needless to say, alcohol was involved.

The next day the ED received a call from the gentleman wanting to know if he was seen in the ER the previous night.  Then he wanted to know what he was seen for.  It was suggested that he probably didn’t want to know.

Contestant Number 2

At 4:30 Sunday morning, TaJuane (not really his name) came to the emergency department with 2 friends and his 6-month pregnant girlfriend.  A deep cut on his left forearm was the reason for his visit.  It seems, somebody had “dissed” him (shown disrespect to him) and he lost what little temper he had left and he punched a window.  Showed that window who was boss; yup.  So as I was sewing (suturing his wound), we talked about this and that.  He used to work at Home Depot.  Not anymore. I guess he used up some of that temper and got fired.  So now, he can’t make his child support payments to the soon to be ex-wife and he and his girlfriend are having difficulty making house and food payments.  Did I mention that no alcohol was involved, but meth was?

The next day, he returned to the emergency department.  When the provider walked into the room, he said, “Wass dis” pointing to the wound I had closed so well?  When he was told the summary of events the previous night, he was stupefied and could not recall any of it.

Like Johnny Carson was so fond of saying, you just can’t make this stuff up.

From your grumpy Uncle/Brother Dave.  We may soon publish the winner.

Weary