Armed and Dangerous in Alabama

7/2017

The Principal of an Alabama Middle School wants to stock all of the rooms with “canned goods” so that if an intruder enters the school, the students can (no pun intended) throw these items at the intruder to scare him off, confuse him or even disable him until police arrive! (1)

So, I have some questions:

Which has more penetrating power, Dinty Moore Beef Stew or Campbells Sausage gumbo?

Are a license and training required?

Be careful of your aim because in some states throwing canned food (OK, beer) can be a Class 2 Felony if perceived as being thrown at law enforcement officers.

Let’s see, 13-14 year old children in Africa are using AK-47s and machetes. In the great state of Alabama, whose motto is “We Dare Defend Our Rights”, they are using Asparagus and peas.

This statement from the article, “the idea to arm students with canned food”, implies that in Alabama one is “armed” while walking home from the local grocery store.  BATF has it’s work cut out for it in Alabama.

How long is it going to take for a You-Tube contributor to come up with a canned food launcher, gasp, in fully automatic mode no less?  Let’s see, all you need is a school bus with PVC connected to the exhaust pipe and a large potato …

Keeping abreast of the latest news, your armed Grumpy Uncle/Brother Dave sitting at his desk with a can of Hominy at hand.

Weary

  1.  http://www.cbsnews.com/news/principal-let-students-hurl-canned-food-to-fight-off-intruders/?ftag=ACQb72972c

Alien Abduction

7/2017

Angie and I went on a mission in Kansas City recently and I swear that we were abducted by aliens.  No, I don’t mean I had to use my rudimentary language skills from Garden City.  Let me explain.

Our 1st appointment was finished and we needed to find a fuel stop for the truck and a drink stop for ourselves, basically killing time until the second appointment. So, it being in an urban suburb of Kansas City, Kansas with a population of just under 150,000, I took off down a pleasant 4 lane boulevard called Nall Avenue.  It was convenient as both our appointment locations were on this street.

Nall Avenue is no hookey, back-woods, gravel road such as what one might find all over Doniphan county.  I noted that it had its own exit from the interstate as we crossed over, heading south.  We passed 2 nationally famous medical centers; 3 community hospital complexes (striving to be recognized as regional medical centers); at least 6 shopping centers (very new, chic and cosmopolitan); an untold number of housing subdivisions with names like Hunter’s Glenn, Green Acres (where the grass was really brown but the houses were 5000+ sf and half a million or more), Highland Mist (No hills, bogs or peat here); a park named B’nai Judah for the little Jewish kids to romp and play on the safety of mulch-floored swings, Jungle gyms and merry-go-rounds; another park (across the street from B’nai Judah) named Lin Chi for the Chinese kids to romp and play on the safety of mulch-floored swings, Jungle gyms and merry-go-rounds; several country clubs with swimming pools and golf courses; churches; several schools… .

But what I didn’t find in the 12.3 miles was a Casey’s, Total or QT.  There was no Love’s, Pilot or even a Phillips 66 C-store. No there wasn’t a Buckey’s.  There were 12.3 miles of urban America without diet Coke, iced tea, bottled water, diesel or gasoline.  There wasn’t even any e-15 or e-85 gasoline-ethanol blend.

I didn’t think there were 12.3 miles of urban America anywhere without a convenience store, aside from places like Texas State Highway 481 from Uvalde to Eagle Pass and Piedras Negras, but those aren’t urban and don’t count.

So the only explanation I can come up with is that Aliens abducted us in a manner that we didn’t know what was happening and we traveled 12.3 miles through Alien territory instead. I mean, everybody knows Aliens don’t use diesel or gasoline in their vehicles, right?

Just another adventure from your grumpy uncle/brother Dave.

Weary

The Silicon Conspiracy

6/2017

The American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009 has essentially forced the adoption of electronic medical records (EMRs) on the healthcare industry, with the section known as the Health Information Technology for Economic and Clinical Health Act (HITECH Act).  Don’t know about you but I just love cute little acronyms.

This was done by Congress.  The same august body of our government that gave us the Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007, which has forced the use of those expensive CFLs, halogen and LED light bulbs and the elimination of incandescent light bulbs.

I have commented on these EMRs before and could probably write a book on the subject, but hang in here, today I’ll try to keep it shorter than that.

Just like in the case of light bulbs, where Congress caused the wanton use and distribution of many toxic substances in an attempt to protect and make the world safer/brighter/lighter/more economical, it has now caused us to have to use computers and electrons to see our health history with the bizarre benefit of saving trees in the process.

But wait just a minute!  Trees can be planted, tended, harvested and planted again and therefore are a renewable resource.  Drive through Arkansas, Oregon, Maine or any timber state and look at all the tree farms.  In fact, paper can be made from a variety of cellulose producing plants, not just trees.  And paper can be made from paper.  It is recyclable!

Silicon, on the other hand, is the 14th element on the periodic table.  While silicon may be the 8th most common of the elements on earth, it is relatively rare in its elemental form and there is a finite amount of silicon in the universe.  It is commonly found in sand and dust. Silicon is used to do more than enhance breasts, butts and lips (although some of us hardly see the point), caulk leaky sinks and keep us from burning our hands on hot pots; it is an essential component in the production of computer chips.

So in fact, Congress has forced the use of an element that is not renewable to avoid the use of a resource that is renewable.

Now do you understand why we have so many military installations in the desert areas of the Western states?

Now do you understand why we are so interested in sending our young men and women to the Middle East (as if it were for oil interests, poppy-cock!)?

In the near future, you will see the news media focusing not on OPEC (Oil Producing & Exporting Countries) but SHEC. You figure the acronym.

Your grumpy Uncle Dave trying to squash conspiracy theories left and right.

Weary

New York’s Finest

6/2017

Before going out to face the night’s work, I was eating and watching Fox News in the break room.  It was interesting to see that NYC has a program to armor their police cruisers. A new SUV with add-on panels that are lightweight and can protect against handguns, shotguns and long guns. They feel this will instill confidence and safety in/to their officers.

Now, this is in the city that has essentially banned all firearms. It is extremely difficult, relatively impossible, to obtain, own, possess, or sell firearms in NYC. In fact, even some knives are banned. It is rumored that a small Buck folding knife found in your possession will get you 3 days in jail and confiscation of the deadly weapon.  Of course, cast iron frying skillets are still legal.

Now, I’m all for giving our law enforcement officers all the protection they need, but something doesn’t add up.

Either Mayor Bloomberg’s gun bans aren’t working, or the city is spending a lot of money on histrionics.

Likely, both.

Once again, your grumpy Uncle Dave is putting way too much thought into this.

Weary