The twelve days of ER Christmas*
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Some nasty ass mental health feet.
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Two bloody gloves.
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Three Stroke Alerts!
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Four call-lights blinking.
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Five GI bleeds.
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Six obese a laying.
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Seven sent to heaven.
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Eight c-PAP paping.
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Nine abscess lancing!
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Ten Foley’s draining.
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Eleven bedbugs crawling.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
Twelve pounds of smegma!
From your grumpy Uncle Dave.
- Sung to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas. Lyrics by Corey.