7/2017
We went into Ernie’s with the intention to eat supper. Right up front a very inebriated young fella shouts out, “Hey, new people.” And he stuck his hand out to shake. Not that I am a suspicious sort but situations like this can go one of several ways, but I shake his hand. He gives me the stare and lifts his left hand. About now I’m waiting for the left cross, but he flips it up like he is asking a question.
I’m about deaf and in the noise of the bar, I could hardly hear anything. But I read lips, he just wanted to introduce himself and asked my name. I’m Dave and he was Josh.
As we walk back to our table, we agreed we would rather get supper to go. About the time we were served our drinks, Josh joined us. I was sitting in the middle of the booth seat and pointedly didn’t move over to make room for him. I do that intentionally to discourage passersby from joining us. I’m pretty sure he didn’t notice.
As events unfolded, we actually had a pretty entertaining time with old Josh. Seems he’s a welder (learned from his Granddad at age 8) and has worked both the Gulf and Pacific in submerged welding. He and his friends were from further west and came to play softball in a tournament. They played Atchison (don’t know how they did on that one) and the Blevins team (got spanked and sent home, or rather to Ernie’s, to lick their wounds).
At a lull (a very brief one ’cause Josh liked to talk) he gives me the stare and says, “So Dave, whadu-udu? I see your lady here is a nurse ’cause she’s wearing scrubs.”
I’m not always honest when people ask this question. I have a variety of stock misdirecting answers. This time I just said I was a farmer.
Giving the stare again, longer this time, he says, “Really? I think not. I’ve never seen a farmer wear round glasses.”
For once in my life, I was playing poker with the best of them.
I went into an honest mode and told him that I buy gold filled wire rims at flea markets and save $300-400 on glasses frames. He liked that. A lot. But I think the alcohol helped.
But on the way home I came up with another answer for my stock supply. When he said he didn’t believe me, I should have said, “You caught me. I’m a nuclear physicist at the stealth nuclear, chemical and biological research plant here in town.”
And when he replies that he knew I was lying because there isn’t a building big enough or looking like the said plant, I’d reply, “Well, I guess I did a pretty good job on designing the stealth part of it anyway.”
I also figured out on the way home that he wasn’t giving me the stare. He was trying to figure out why I had 2 heads, 4 eyes and 2 pairs of glasses.
Your grumpy uncle Dave, the weary traveler.
Weary