7/2017
On the way to work tonight, I went to the store to get supper. I wasn’t in a hurry but wasn’t dilly-dallying around either. There was a guy walking ahead of me who kept walking slower and slower, glancing back at me and obviously trying to impede my progress. Finally, he stopped.
He asked, “Do you work in the ER?”
“Yup, I said.” Not knowing where this is going. Many of my patient encounters “off-campus” have been confrontational.
He said, “I was in the ER last weekend with a broken arm.” He pointed to a sling on his left arm.
I thought, OK, I can at least hold my own against a 30 y/o assailant with a broken arm.
“Wasn’t me, I worked last weekend but didn’t have any patients with broken arms,” hoping that I wasn’t forgetting something.
“Well, I was there, drunk as hell, cussing, fighting and puking. I was acting like a jerk and I just wanted to apologize.”
I bet I looked like a doe on the Interstate looking into the headlights of a Peterbilt. First time in 30 years anyone has apologized to me for that kind of behavior.
In 30 years, I’ve seen a wide variety of weapons carried, forgotten and brandished in the hospital. Long guns, handguns, knives, brass knuckles, swords, sticks, nunchucks, poor hygiene and body odor. I’ve seen them brandished in boast, in threat and lost to search.
I’ve seen handguns found by security in a purse left in the cafeteria, in vehicles when security moved a car and on the patient’s person when searched by LEOs. I’ve had them brandished in threat at me, at other ED staff and at LEOs. One fool medical student brandished one at the nurses’ station in front of sheriff’s deputies, security and me in the boast of now being “in the club”. He had just received a concealed carry permit and missed the lecture on the “concealed” portion of concealed carry. I’ve seen a gun skid across the floor when a fellow physician was changing into scrubs and forgot it was clipped to his pants. I’ve seen a shotgun by the chair of a father who thought social welfare was going to take his daughter from him and had asked to talk to me about that.
I’ve seen saps. One, in particular, served dual duty. It was a sock filled with sand compressed into a 2-inch diameter by 8-inch long liner concealed in the pants extending from his groin down into the right leg of his pants. It had a string tethering it so it would stay in place. The girls must have loved it.
Knives have shown up in pockets, waistbands, purses, boots, shoes and backpacks. I’ve seen sheath knives, all manner of folding knives and one sword. It is kind of ironic that while growing up, the mystery of the “switchblade” and the fact that they were illegal was so alluring. As young as 8 or 9, I had seen, wanted and tried to buy a switchblade on one of our visits to Juarez, Mexico. Now you can buy them down at Walmart in most states.
The popular item today is the small to medium folder with “open assist” by a spring mechanism, basically a switchblade. But, until last night I had never seen one clipped to the inside of a bra. Sure hope she doesn’t hit that little lever actuator while putting on her coat or something. Might cut them puppies free or damage ’em.
Your grumpy old Marine Brother/Uncle Dave.
http://www.grunt.com/grumpy-old-marine-t-shirt
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