Bureaucracy at it’s…


If you want to travel outside the continental U.S., go into the bathroom and cut your wrists instead. My 14 y/o granddaughter wants to go to Mexico to meet her father. Yeah, that’s another story. But the bureaucratic hazing that one must go through is appalling!

You have, basically, 3 ways to apply for a passport.

Process number 1. The traditional way involves getting an appointment to go to the post office to review your application with a postal worker that was there working anyway (thank the wonderfully new COVID-19 restrictions). There, one has to show documents that prove that you are a U.S. citizen, that prove what your address is and other mundane things. That package of information is sent to the Department of State. All documents have to be original or certified copies. Leaving you wondering if you will ever see them again. And, leaving you without those documents if needed for other applications (such as applying for a driver’s license, registering for school…) until they return, if ever. The process is estimated to take about 3-6 months according to the State Department’s published estimates.

Process number 2. You could apply for an expatiated path. the process is exactly the same with the exception that if you request an expatiated application, you can expect the process to take about 3-6 months. According to published State department estimates.

Process number 3. You can physically hand-walk your passport application through the process. But, you have to abide by the State department’s directives. Your application must be hand-delivered to one of about 12 sites in the United States. Guess what? The nearest one to us was 13 hours away by ground. The application must be delivered 3 days before departure. Meaning you must commit to purchasing an airline ticket way before having your passport. The odds of getting to travel with that ticket are way outside Las Vegas odds. And you must have proof of the emergency that prompted the request.

I had an epiphany, again.

All one has to do is to go to the border of the US and Mexico. Cross over into Mexico. Believe me Mexico doesn’t care if you have a passport or not. Turn around and walk back across the border into the US. When the Border Patrol accosts you, present no passport, no ID and claim you want to apply for welfare and all other subsistence programs. Heck, you’ll probably make some money on the trip, in the end.

There, you’ve made it. Who needs all this bureaucratic crap.

From your grumpy Uncle Dave.