Münchhausen Syndrome is a form of malingering. “This extreme form of factitious disorder was named after Baron Karl Friederich Heironymous Freiherr Von Münchhausen, a retired cavalryman who told fanciful tales only to entertain others.” The stories were made up. Seems that military posers have been around since there has been military.
From a medical point of view, an old coot (Dr. Gavin) back in 1843 figured out that there are some patients that fake their illnesses. These patients come to the Doctor with a variety of complaints of either a physical or psychological nature or both. The symptoms are intentionally feigned and they behave in a way that eventually appears that they want to be sick. There is an absence of desire for economic gain, avoiding legal responsibility (that is a whole ‘nother topic) or getting better. The cause and pathophysiology are unknown. They are just looney-tunes. I have had patients that I recognized were in this category several times in my career, but my patient last night takes the cake.
She had several diagnoses that couldn’t be confirmed. When confirmation testing was scheduled, she missed the appointment or refused the test. She reported allergies or intolerance to medications used to treat the illnesses and what medications she did take were not taken as prescribed. I was having one of my typical busy nights and was not in an extremely sympatico mood. I wasn’t allowing myself to be manipulated by giving this or that drug to satisfy her whim. I was interested enough and spent some time reading her history and noticed that she has been playing this game on Heartland Docs for 17 years. I finally made up my mind and called it quits. No more pandering to this patient.
The patient, didn’t like the fact that this new-to-her doctor wasn’t playing along with her kabuki play. So she did what any discerning adult would do, she called 911. From her exam room. She called the police to report that I was being mean and not treating her.
How did we find this out? The 911 dispatcher called my secretary to let her know that my patient was calling them, barely stifling laughter.
I mean, what do my colleges do? Call the boss and say they are understaffed ’cause Dr. Ward got carted off to jail? I’ll bet that after pizza, the whole staff couldn’t of scrapped up $20 cash for bail even if they had to.
I have reached the pinnacle of my career. I can retire now.
Humbly submitted from your grumpy Uncle/Brother Dave.